Why Postpartum Support Matters More Than a Pinterest-Worthy Baby Shower

May 7

When it comes to preparing for a baby, our culture has mastered the art of the baby shower. Pinterest boards overflow with themed party ideas, diaper cakes, and elaborate registries. Birth announcements are curated to perfection. But once the last cupcake is eaten and the last gift unwrapped, an unsettling reality sets in. Parents are often left to figure it all out—sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and shockingly unsupported.

We Plan for the Baby, Not for the Parents

Modern culture has mastered how to throw a party for the arrival of a baby—but when it comes to what happens after the baby is born, things fall apart.

The postpartum period is one of the most physically, mentally, and emotionally intense seasons of life for both parents. Yet society puts all its energy into preparing for the baby’s stuff—not for the wellbeing of the people raising them.

Worse yet, even in pregnancy celebrations, there's often an invisible hierarchy. Moms are typically the center of the baby shower, while non-birthing parents (especially dads or partners in same-sex couples) are frequently sidelined, if acknowledged at all.

When we only honor one parent with a baby shower, we send the message that one role is central and the other is secondary—when in reality, every parent deserves support, validation, and community.

The Postpartum Period: The Most Overlooked Phase of Parenthood

Despite all the attention given to pregnancy and birth, postpartum care remains shockingly under-prioritized in our society. In fact, many women enter the "fourth trimester" with little understanding of what their bodies, minds, and relationships are about to go through.

While friends and family gather to celebrate the baby’s arrival, few stick around for the sleepless nights, hormonal crashes, and identity shifts that define the postpartum experience. The result? Mothers are "winging it" through one of the most vulnerable, physically intense, and emotionally complex times of their lives.

After the baby is born, there’s no structured support system. No game plan. Just two exhausted (and often anxious) parents trying to survive on caffeine, takeout, and Google searches.

This “figure it out as you go” model isn’t working. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and relationship strain are at all-time highs. And it’s not just birthing parents who struggle—non-birthing partners often feel isolated, unsure of how to help, or forgotten altogether.

Modern Motherhood and the Isolation Epidemic

We live in a society that praises independence and self-sufficiency. New mothers are often expected to "bounce back" quickly—returning to work, social life, or even their pre-baby body—without acknowledging the deep healing and support they actually need. The idea that needing help is a weakness has left countless women suffering in silence.

Contrast this with traditional cultures around the world, where postpartum care includes 30–40 days of structured rest, nourishing meals, and round-the-clock support. In many of these communities, postpartum depression and anxiety are significantly lower.

The Real Cost of Winging It Postpartum

Lack of postpartum support isn’t just inconvenient—it’s dangerous. According to the CDC, maternal mental health disorders are among the leading complications of childbirth. Without adequate support, new mothers face increased risks of:

Postpartum depression and anxiety
Physical injury from inadequate recovery
Breastfeeding challenges and early weaning
Sleep deprivation and burnout
Marital stress and feelings of isolation

All of this can dramatically impact the health and development of the baby as well.

We Need a Cultural Shift: From Showers to Sustained Support

It’s time to flip the script. Baby showers are lovely, but they shouldn’t be the main event. What if we started investing in postpartum doulas, meal trains, and pelvic floor therapy instead of matching nursery sets? The real celebration shouldn’t end when the baby shower does. If we really want to support growing families, we need to prepare for postpartum the same way we plan for the birth.

Here are a few ways to shift the conversation:

just as detailed as a birth plan, include your approach on rest for the family, supporting each other’s needs, household responsibilities, and visitors. See the Postpartum Planning Guide for a step-by-step resource.
Think lactation support, physical or mental therapy sessions, house cleaning, or postpartum doula services. Include all parents in the celebration, not just Moms
Setting your village up in advance is incredibly helpful. Normalize talking openly about the postpartum experience
Family and friends should show up after the baby is born, too

Supporting Parents Isn’t Extra—It’s Essential

When we glamorize baby showers but ignore the months that follow, we fail the very people who need our care most. It’s time we move beyond the gift wrap and toward real, ongoing support.

Let’s celebrate parents, not just the party.
Let’s prepare for postpartum, not just the push.
And let’s build a culture where every parent—regardless of gender or role—is seen, valued, and supported.

Want to plan fort the postpartum period, the same way you do the baby shower? Check out Plans for Parents Postpartum Planning Guide for more insights and valuable information:

explore the guide